I have not taken the time for the past several weeks to post or create any thing, as I have been pretty busy with some great concerns and trials. Recently I found out that my sweet little Mother has cancer. It has been quite a blow as she is one that when I look into her face and see warmth, and radiance, kindness and love, but never think that she could possibly get cancer. Well she did, and our entire family has been focused on taking care of her needs. She had surgery a little over a week ago, and has been convalescing at my home up until yesterday, when she wanted to go back to her own home. Being with mom for a full week, and tending to all her needs, has been such a great joy. It has kept me focused on serving her and forgetting how badly I feel that she has had to go through this ordeal.
Today was my catch up day for tears and tender mercies. I needed to finally cry, and I did. I also needed to know and feel the love of My Heavenly Father, and it came. It is so interesting to me that when I need it most, out of the blue comes something to warm my heart, and bolster my spirits. And this is how my day has gone so far....
I woke up and almost forgot that my Mother was not in the next room, like she has been this past week. I walked into the room, and there was an empty bed and chair, which reminded me that I would not be taking care of her needs today. The realization that my Mom had recovered enough to be able to go home and take care of herself, was my first tender mercy. The Lord had answered my prayers and the prayers of my family, because her healing has gone so well, and in fact better than I had expected. I thank the Lord for looking after my dear mother.
I then sat down at my desk in front of my computer and began to sob. I guess that tears are meant to cleanse the soul, and they certainly poured out of me today. I still feel a bit weepy, but the tears that fill my eyes now, are in gratitude for the Lord letting me know in His own ways that he is mindful of me and my mother.
I opened up my GMail and began to scroll down all the messages that had been sent to me over the past couple of days. My eyes fixed on LDS Gems, which is a wonderful site that sends a gospel centered message to me every single day, and sometimes more than once a day. I look forward to them, and find that more times than not, the messages are just exactly what I need to hear that particular day. Today was no different as the message hit my heart like a ton of lead. This message was about my mother, and through the lines I read that the Lord is mindful of her and her condition and that He loves her and loves me. This gem is my mother and describes beautifully her situation with cancer, and how she is dealing with it, and of her sweet disposition and enduring faith. Here is the LDS Gem for today:
"As we pass through the trials of life, let us keep an eternal perspective, let us not complain, let us become even more prayerful, let us serve others, and let us forgive one another. As we do this, 'all things [will] work together for good to [us] that love God' (Romans 8:28)."
James B. Martino, "All Things Work Together for Good," Ensign, May 2010, 103
My goodness....this is my mom.... she has kept such a wonderful eternal perspective even though she has had to experience surgery, pain, and so much more. She doesn't and has not complained about getting cancer, but just says.... "Well I guess it's my turn". In our conversations of the past week or so, I have noticed that she always forgives people for their bad behaviors. She always gives others the benefit of the doubt, and never judges. The prayers she says on her meals are always so sweet and insightful. She mentions things that I have forgotten and they are sincere and from her heart. She is grateful for everything she has, and keeps her faith strong in the Lord.
Mom has been reading the new book about President Thomas S. Monson, and from time to time, she stops and tell me about something to do with his life that she never knew. She has such zeal for reading and learning and I so admire that in my cute little shrinking 78 year old mother.
My mother still teaches violin lessons and many of those she teaches are for free. I get so agitated when I realize that she is so humble and just barely getting by with the necessities of life, and here she is giving out free violin lessons. That has been a burr in my shoe for so many years, but for her it is about providing service and teaching a talent to one who might never have the opportunity. She says... "But Katie, they are so poor, and they couldn't ever afford to learn if I didnt' teach them." I usually reply, 'But Mom, you are the one who needs the money so badly and you don't charge for your lessons. I have learned so much from her example, and understand that to Mom, there is much more than earning money when you give this kind of selfless service. Mom has such needs, yet she is out serving others.... What an angelic lady! What a great example to all who know her.
Through the past many weeks since we have found out that mother has cancer, all of her children, and Mother as well, have felt such peace, knowing that the Lord is aware of us and through our prayers he has blessed each of us with an overwhelming feeling of peace and comfort. Just now I picked up the telephone and it was my sweet little Mother calling, and I told her I was writing a post about her. She said, "Katie.... I need to let you know that I have been praying a lot today, that is in between all the phone calls and visits people have been making." She said, "I feel the Lord's presence in my life and he has provided me comfort and peace, and I don't feel the least bit worried about what is to come with the cancer treatments, because the Lord is so mindful of me."
Well, I could go on and on, but I think my Mom's words have said it all. I too know that the Lord is mindful of me, and of her, and of all of you, and wants to provide each of us with comfort and peace during all the difficult times we experience in this life. I think the trick to being able to feel his love for us is to understand the concept that if we will but open our door, He will come in. He never pushes himself on us, but stands by, waiting for us to ask in prayer, and He will then bless us with his peace and love.
Oh, by the way, I almost forgot... part of my tender mercy today was that the quote from the Ensign prompted me to get my mind off of any sadness I was feeling and moving my thoughts and actions toward something that I love to do and that is to create. So I created a book mark with a few recent pictures of my mother, with the quote that came to me today from LDS Gems. Feel free to share it with others as you feel, as it certainly lifted my spirits, and who knows who needs their spirits lifted too?
