I have had some very deep thoughts about some very difficult subjects over the past few days. I finally acted on two of them, and I have a burning inside of me that what I did was what Christ would do. I would like to share a couple experiences with you.
I have a family member who over the past 7 or so years, has become a totally different person. She looks, acts and is so different from the sister I knew in prior years. It has been an emotional roller coaster for my entire family, and her actions have dug deep holes into our once happy relationships. She has estranged herself from our family and though she won't admit it, avoids every possible encounter with us. Our mother is so troubled by the drastic changes in my sister both mentally and physically, that she has put up blinders and lives in an altered state of reality because it hurts her too much to believe who her daughter has become. As a result, Mother is always on the defence with all the rest of her children who try to get her back into the reality and acceptance of how life is now. Without going into any more detail, just know that our once close family isn't anymore, other than some siblings have maintained relationships with each other.
This situation has troubled me immensity for years. I too have been hurt just as much as my brothers and sisters and Mother, but I know that no matter what our sister has done, and who she has become, my Heavenly Father still loves her dearly and wants her back with him in his arms, one day.
Yesterday, I took the opportunity to extend an invitation to her to come back. I invited her to spend Christmas Eve with my own family and children, in hopes that she will feel wanted, loved, and stir some feeling that she has long since shoved behind her heart. I told her that I love her no matter the changes she has made, and that above anything in this life and the next, family is the very most important thing we have. I told her that though I don't embrace and support the changes she has made, that I still love her because she is and always has been my sister, and we all need to move on and get to a better place. We need each other and I basically extended to her the olive branch, that i believe that Christ would want me to do. I did this for Him, but mostly for myself.
I don't know if she will come and join in our family for the evening. If she doesn't choose to come, she will be missing one great time, filled with joy, and marvelous food, games, laughter, and the warmth of family. Free agency is alive and well, so I don't know whether or not she will choose to accept my olive branch, but I pray that she will. I pray that she will come home, and join back with our family and hopefully mend some broken hearts.
Another story:
A couple nights ago, my neighborhood had the annual neighborhood Christmas Progressive dinner. We have had this for 5 years now and it is still looked forward to and has become a fun tradition in our neighborhood. This year, as in years past, I volunteered to host part of this dinner, and 50 people came through my door, and ate salad at my tables, and enjoyed great conversation, friendship and the warmth of my home. It was time for the group to go to the next house for Soup, so after they had all left, my husband and I and my Visiting Teacher and her husband, stayed and cleaned up. Before we had much cleaned up, there was a knock on our door, and standing on our porch was the familiar face of a woman who lives with her mother, just up the street. We welcomed her in and invited her to dish herself up a hearty plate from the salad bar that we had just hosted. She happily accepted, and all of us sat down and chatted with her as she enjoyed her meal.
She was delightful, friendly, and I know she felt comfortable coming to our home, even though she waited until the rest of the neighborhood crowds had left. She came at a time where she didn't have to face the rest of the neighborhood, and we chatted and enjoyed her visit for about 45 minutes. My Visiting Teacher and her husband, who happens to be our Home teacher, had never met this woman, and I believe because she keeps to herself. My guess is that most of our neighborhood has not met her either. She has, much like my sister, chosen a lifestyle that is outside the typical role of a woman. She is never seen with anyone but her dogs that she walks every day, and my guess is that she is lonely, however whenever I see her, she warmly welcomes conversation or waves.
After she left, my thoughts were on what a wonderful and good hearted person she is. I also realized that she finally reached out of her own comfort zone, and came to a dinner in our house, where she knew she would be welcome. My husband is the Bishop of our ward, and she knows from friendly in conversation in the past, that he is welcoming and non judgemental.
These two stories are very similar in that both women, have chosen paths that are unique to most women, but one thing for sure we have in common, is a loving father in heaven. I know that many times we imperfect people, will judge others, and that estranges them from us. They don't feel welcome, and sometimes others feel uncomfortable having them around but if we want to be more Christlike, we will remember that Jesus spent most of his ministry with the outcasts, the lepers, the sinners and those who most of the population shunned. Jesus didn't judge any of them, but loved them and blessed them, and encourage them to follow Him.
I pray that we as sisters of Christ, and daughters of our Heavenly father, will extend ourselves, and even go out of our own comfort zones, to be more kind, and considerate, provide service and give love, to all of those who need it..... The lonely, the infirm, the aged, the widows, the sick, and those who have gone astray.
A scripture come to mind and though it is specifically talking about missionary work, it can apply to the message that I share as well. I am going to alter it a bit but it still has the same meaning It is found in D&C 18: 15,16 "And if it be so that you should labor all your days crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my father....and if your joy will be great with one soul, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!" Going on to verse 19.." And if you have not faith, hope, and charity, you can do nothing". In verse21 is the last part of what I would like to share because it says this..."Take upon you the name of Christ, speak the truth in soberness."
Sisters in this Glorious Christmas season on joy, I pray that we can all think about those who really need us in their lives, even if we have never reached out to them in the past, it is time that we do it now. It is time that we invite them back, in genuine friendship and love. God loves them every bit as much as He loves you, so remembering that, imagine His gratitude when one day you are with Him again, and He brings to your remembrance your deeds. He will be so grateful for loving the lost souls, and will count you among those blessed children.
Remember this at Christmas, and remember this all year thought. May the Lord bless you in your efforts to serve Him and to be more like Jesus Christ, who is Christmas. Much Love, Katie G
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