I know a special friend, who sufferers from depression, MS, and a multiple of other health problems. She does her best every day to deal with her problems, however at times they get the best of her. Several years back, when she was in her 20's, she became so depressed that she made yet another attempt at suicide. Her mother, for some reason, and who was older, did her best to keep her suicide attempts quiet, because she didn't want others to know about them, thinking that this was the best way to handle the situation, which by the way was WRONG! This time, it was found out, and the years of troubles she had suffered, was brought out into the open, and her whole family was finally brought to the knowledge of the situation. They all grieved feeling so badly that they had not known their sister had been going through such difficult times.
I found out about it too, as this young woman was a very close friend to me. I pondered at what I could do to lift her spirits, and let her know she is loved, and valued, and that she was not judged by me for her challenges. I had a thought one day as I went shopping at Costco. I passed by the beautiful flowers that they had displayed at the end of an isle, very close to the check out registers. The fragrance of the flowers drew me to them, and I looked at this beautiful, fragrant display, and had an Epiphany. I knew what I would do for my friend. I know that flowers can lift the spirits of everyone, and especially the ill. Flowers are given to people who are in the hospital, and so why not give flowers to someone who is suffering in other ways!
I made a phone call to my Friend and asked her if she was busy that very next day. She said she was available, and I told her to set aside about 3 hours of time, and that I would pick her up at her house, and we would spend that time together. I gave her no clue as to what we would be doing.
When I picked her up, I was excited and so was she. The anticipation of doing something together that was a secret, was exciting. She was smiling and filled with wonder, until we drove up to Costco. She asked, "So we are going shopping in Costco?" I said, "Yes", but what we are shopping for is the secret.
We entered the store, and because I wanted to keep her guessing and excited, we went through all the isles, and admired so many lovely things, until the point we were just about done window shopping, and we arrived at the flower isle. I then told her to select the most beautiful color of roses and that I would be buying them for her today. Her eyes lit up and she told me she loved roses. She also told me that she had never been given so many roses at one time before. She took her time and checked out each bunch and finally settled on beautiful, long stemmed, Red roses. There looked to be 18 - 24 roses in the bunch. On our way to the cash register, I told he that it was my gift to her, but once they were hers, it was up to her as to what she wanted to do with them. I told her that there were so many, that she might want to consider giving some of them to others, to make them as happy as she was, or she could just keep them all for herself. (I had secretly planned and hoped that she would like to share, because it was part of my plan.) She responded as I had hoped and said she would like to give some away, but then began to question who. I then chimed in and made some suggestions. I said to think about people throughout her life, who had made an impact on her. Maybe a teacher, or music teacher, or friend. She began to think and speak out loud her thoughts. She excitedly said, 'I know who I will give to, and she lives very close by.
While in line at the check out, I suggested that there might be many others who could have their day lifted by being given a rose. I suggested that she look around as we went from place to place to watch for someone who might need a rose.
Right in front of us in line, was a mother with a crying child. The mother looked frustrated and was struggling to handle paying for her Costco purchase, and wrestling with her child. My friends eyes lit up and she said, "I think that woman needs a rose". While I was paying for the roses, my friend took out one of the roses in her bouquet, and went over to that woman, and said, "I was noticing that maybe you needed one of these to brighten your day!" The woman responded favorably and smiled and thanked her for the rose. It was totally unexpected, but so very welcomed. They briefly spoke, but what I observed was that not only the countenance of the woman struggling with her child, had changed, but my friend seemed to brighten her own countenance, and she seemed so happy and uplifted.
Next we went to another store and thought that we might find some people in that store who could use a rose. One of such, was the woman who was at the cash register. She seemed frustrated by the onery person who had just checked out. My friend gave her a rose and said that she hoped her day went better from that moment on. You should have seen the look on the face of the woman at the cash register. Her mouth gaped open in wonder, and then a big smile. She thanked my friend and my friend, said, "No thank you for the service you give every day".
My plan for a day of roses was a huge success. I knew from personal experience that when we give service to others, there is a huge side benefit. We feel just as good or better than those we had given the service! My friends countenance changed and she eagerly thought about who she might give the next rose to. We stopped at the door of a music teacher who had made a difference in her life. She gave some of the roses to her Mother who had taken care of her and who was also grieving at the thought her daughter could be dead and gone from the last suicide attempt. Each and every person was happier, and brighter for a time, and this happiness was felt inside my friend.
After the three hours, I took her home. She hugged me and thanked me over and over for the wonderful day of Roses. I told her how much I loved her and how important she was in my life to me. I told her that I didn't know what I would do without her, and hoped that the good feelings she had inside from giving service, love and kindness to others, would remind her of how good if feels to be alive, and focusing on others instead of ourself. We talked about how everyone has troubles in this life and that challenges were what made us who we are. I told her that when she became discouraged, to look around and see that there are so many others who have challenges too, but we can make a difference, by simply being kind, and giving a little service. When we look outward, we don't have time to look inward, yet a direct result of serving others is good feelings. No pill has ever been created to make a person feel as good about themselves as they do when they are serving others.
We parted, and I went home knowing I had done something good. I felt warm fuzzies inside of me, knowing that my friend did too. I had invested my time, my love and a little bit on Roses, but what a marvelous day we shared, one that I had impact on me and so many others, and that I will never forget.
I hope you enjoyed my true story and will go out and enjoy serving others. Much love, Katie G
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